Another year passed.. However, it didnt pass alone.. It took a lot of people who are close to me.. It told me brutally that I'm a slave to mundane instincts like anger and frustration. It also gave me backpain which I think is the first big ailment I got. Need to workout how to overcome this.. My Lower back pains like crazy sometimes.. Regarding the death spree, in a span of six/seven months i have lost six people w ho are close to me.. and more awkward thing is I met many of my relatives only during funerals and 12-13th day events.. Many times I wondered how cruel this fate can be? Anyways, it would be gross injustice to place this year in the league of 2008 nonetheless quite painful year on a personal side and a challenging one on a professional front. Everybody thinks that my life is going ga ga as its the first year of my married life.. on the contrary God gave me my quota of pains to keep me grounded. Thank the Almighty for that!!!
The year started with me moving to my own house in electronic city.. With this I got a status of representing my family in any events with the relatives. In the month of Feb-March I faced the most challenging situation of my professional career. For the first time I couldnt adhere to the deadlines I committed and let myself down.. I had to pay a lot for this failure of mine.. However, at the back of my mind I have a feeling that there is a divine reason behind whatever happened.. On the personal side my niece was seriously ill which gave me shivers in spine.. I dont want to say something as a reason for my faults but that period was quite testing to say the least..
April and May merely passed with no significant development on my professional side. In the month of May I went to Tirumala. Again, the visit was so phenomenal and it gave me hope about my life.. It just proved that I am a mere puppet in this whole big drama of life.. When I planned my travel and told my family and friends about my trip everybody said, the temple is very busy and it will take ages to complete the darshan so its better to postpone. But I had only one thought in my mind "I had to go.. come what may!!" To my pleasant surprise I completed the darshan in barely 4hours.. The next and the day before it took 12-14 hours for darshan.. Thank God!!
The month of june is rather the toughest month by far.. As usual the memoirs of doom's call haunted me but I also have the sweet memory of my pelli chupulu (last year). However, the sad thing happened in the last week of the month when my dear friend Shankar garu passed away. For a lot of time I was not keen to develop friendships online but since 2009 in some weird rather crazy circumstances I landed among a bunch of friends and the bond is thick till date.. When Shankar garu passed away, for the first time in my online life I felt "Did I commit a mistake by befriending??" Worst part is that I visited Shankar's home during my Tirumala trip and he gave me a pack of laddus. I'm yet to pay him the money for those laddus, an unsettled account :(( Tears pour out of my eyes as I write these words but sometimes its better to shed tears!!! For sometime I thought I will delete my blogs and end my online life but again my blog is the only place where I am free to write any nonsense that I want to write. I vividly remember when banthi called me I thought it was about Pappu sir's birthday celebration.
Come July-Aug, I made myself busy by initiating a project which finally got some reward to me. Even these months are not free from pain. I lost a colleague in the office and a close family relative. All in all six deaths in a span of seven months which means I cannot talk to six people in my circle with whom I used to talk often.
The last quarter or so, I was extremely busy in my office work because of few new projects that I started handling. For my first wedding anniversary I went to Munnar and it was quite good. On 26th Nov My sister met a small accident and got multiple fractures. she had to take rest for three months now.
After narrating about so much of pain, let me see the bright spots of this year:
1. I have started handling people albeit unofficially.
2. I have read the book sarva sambhavam
3. I became mama once again.. another nephew
4. Visited two hill stations: chikmagalur and Munnar
5. Started a google plus community called Sankalpam
This post is not complete without writing about Sarvasambhavam. This is a book written by Sri PVRK Prasad IAS. He worked as the EO of TTD and this book is about his experiences while serving Tirumala temple. When I went to hyd for Kiran's wedding, Shankar garu insisted that I should buy it. somehow i didnt get a chance to read this book immediately. Finally, I read the book only to console myself for the loss of the person who recommended it. What a cruel joke??
I want to finish this post with the following poem. This is part of the poem that I wrote after Shankar gari untimely demise:
వెడలిపోయిన మిత్రమా నీ స్థానం అమరం
వాడిపోయిన స్నేహమా నీ జ్ఞాపకం పదిలం
కఠినమైన కాలమా ఈ భావం భయానకం
కానరాని లోకమా ఈ ప్రాణం అపురూపం