Wednesday, April 20, 2016

AM I FAILING??

Jai Guru Deva,

For the last several weeks now, I am feeling a lot of void in my professional life. Not sure of the reason exactly but things are not going well for sure. Never went through so many escalations.. Just getting tired of explaining things to people, to management, to the rest of the world actually. Time to take some break and start working but break is something I dont have the luxury of taking a leave anytime in the near future. In 2013, I had worked all through the year without any personal leave. I think things are looking the same way this year also. I had changed my role little bit and landed up in some unknown zone. Its like going to a gun fight with a knife in hand. 

There are several technicalities related to backend servers its easy to decode some zen puzzle than predicting this. Everytime I am managing an escalation there will be a new reason for the issue. No reason comes twice :( I understand that management is all about handling difficult situations and difficult people but the rate of escalations is giving me a feel that I belong to customer care team of some gas agency than anything else. Given this scenario, the obvious questions is why not change the job..Unfortunately, there are not much of roles out there in the market which matches my pay expectations. Frankly, I am looking out for a job change and I am not able to find a suitable job.. may be another of my failure.

Overall, the first trimester of 2016 is a big failure with no learning and running from post to pillar to get things fixed. Definitely not a nice thing!

feeling frustrated.. This too shall pass!

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,
-Karthik

Friday, January 15, 2016

Sathvik's 2015

Jai Guru Deva,

Last couple of weeks had been so crazy that I couldnt finish my yearly review. I think with this one I will be completing yearly review for ten consecutive years. Thats something.. Sabash :))

The most happening thing in my life is Sathvik. He smiles for no reason screams for everything and anything. Runs around without any breaks and keep falling down time and again. To him, it doesnt matter whether something infront of him is a human or an object, he will just climb. Thats Sathvik Indrakanti!!

Early 2015, I had thought a lot for selecting the name for Sathvik. Apart from Sathvik, I was thinking of Saketh, Kaustubh and even Shashank. But when I was listening to the sacred chantings of Lord Shiva, one of them is Sathvik and I had immediately finalized this. I really wanted to name him as Shankar after my Guruji Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji but either the letter was not matching, or name was not suiting or some other thing was happening. On a professional side, first half of 2015 was crazy because of several escalations regarding the forecasting process that I own. Actually these started in second half of 2014 and continued till April 2015. I was working even in the week when Sathvik was born. No respite what so ever!!

Once Sathvik and Sowmya came to Bangalore, its case of pan to fire :))  had to manage a lot of more things now than before. But one resolution that I took is to spend atleast two hours of quality time with Sathvik and I think I had stick to that for about 80% of the year, which is a decent start. I had started declining meeting invites if its not suiting me. Not sure I ever did this before in my career. However, the other side of the coin is that I am doing a lot projects/activities that are directly impacting the business. Something that I work on is shared in the all employee meeting on a quarterly basis.

On the spiritual dimension I had done my blessing course for which I was waiting for a long time. For several years, the thought of me blessing someone sounded ridiculous and silly to me. Part of the reason is that I am the youngest in my family and I always got blessing but never gave :)) However, I understood that its not me who is blessing but the holy Guru parampara. I'm just a medium nothing more than that. When you take medicine in a spoon to cure your ailment, you praise the medicine not the spoon. Same way, when I bless some one its actually the divine grace, its actually Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji not me.

In the second half of the year most of my time has gone in my preparations for going abroad. Till now they had not given any positive result which is very frustrating. The reason I'm so keen now is because once Sathvik grows up we will have to think of his education and there will be several dependencies. So its a case of now or never. However, like several things in my life I leave this one also to the almighty. If I'm not able to go abroad despite my efforts may be there is some divine motive for me to stay back. I respect that!!!

I had done my advance course in August which is very soothing. In the middle of the course I had tears of gratitude for the joy I had experienced. Its something like meeting your best pal after a long time and laughing at all the silly things you did together. Thats silence for me. I was with me looking at me, observing me, analyzing me and experiencing the ultimate bliss.

On the professional side, I had become a far better project manager than before. Particularly while dealing with people. I never had issues when I am working on something all by myself. But often I faced issues when driving others to work. I think I had improved significantly in this area in the second half of this year. Still a long way to go!

Two of my close friends, Sameer and Prabha got married this year. My best wishes to them. And on 1st Nov 2015 we had celebrated first birthday of Sathvik.

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,
-Karthik

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Why Am I suffering?

Jai Guru Deva,

This is more of my personal rant than anything else.. wanted to write this for a couple of days but did not had the mood and strength to write..

For the last week, things are crazy at my place.. Sathvik is completely down with fever, my mom is diagnosed with typhoid and as usual my office work is taking toll on me. All in all, a very challenging week. (Its like doing a DSN course on a daily basis.) The deadly combination of all these things could not take away my smile from me. I am still able to leave my home at home and office at office. That is the way I want to live and I will live!

However, since yesterday Sathvik's fever had rejuvenated and recurring every 6-7hours. Doctor told us that its the second phase of viral fever and might last for a couple of days. This was something I had found very tough to handle. He had become very passive and not even playing his favorite hide and seek. Adding to this, all thoughts some xyz kids suffering from some unknown diseases are crossing my mind. As I mentioned several times before, my mind is something that scares me more than the rest of the world. :( Time and again, I am meditating to overcome these negative thoughts. And believe me its very easy said than done! Looking him like this is perhaps the worst punishment I can imagine. On the other side, rest of my family is very worried about my mother as she is also not able to gain any strength and continuously down with fever.  My office work permit, tomorrow I will go to kadapa and bring my parents to Bangalore. 

Amidst all these things, sowmya as well as my sisters are very worried and that is also adding pressure on me. Every few hours i get a phone call about something which requires my immediate action. To me such hasty actions will only boomerang. It could be changing the doctor, or changing the medicines or changing the city itself. So many decisions without liitle patience will only lead to chaos but people around me doesnt seem to understand this.. so be it!

I had held myself sober and strong despite all the above said things. This afternoon, there were some labourer's kids who came to my house. They seems to have lost their livelihood and were planning to move out to some other locality as construction in our street is over. When Sowmya gave them something to eat they just jumped and grabbed it even its in her hand. They were hardly 4-5 years and they were too naive or too hungry.. That sight is breaching of my endurance limit. I literally had tears rolling out of my eyes. They told us they didnt eat anything since morning but their eagerness to grab the food is still afresh and its haunting me. Haunting is perhaps an understatement. I wish I would cry for some more time so as to feel better.. but I couldnt! because may be I dont even deserve to cry. I am not doing any seva these days. My contribution to Jeevani has also reduced. May be I became too selfish :(

Feeling very disturbed and guilty, I pray Guruji give me some strength to contribute little more to this society I am part of.. 

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,
-Karthik

Sunday, December 27, 2015

@Prasads Imax

Jai Guru Deva,

For the last 15mins I'm sitting in prasad imax lobby waiting for someone who is more than a brother to me. Sitting alone is always associated with the risk of making me nostalgic. First time I came to this place was a dream. it was almost ten years ago. people were yet to realize im junk(may be they did but didn't tell me). I was very happy to be in hyderabad amd also to be in imax. Prasads is one place where I wanted to watch a movie for a long time.  During that trip I didn't get to watch the movie but still it ws very pleasant and dream trip mainly because of people around me. I came to hyderabad to meet my sister and other friends.  Life moved a long way after that and now none of those friends are in touch with me. Some of them realized I am too much of nonsense and some were too busy with their professional and personal work. God bless them all!! I feel happy that I shared with them the good days of my life and not the traumatic days of my life.



Another time when I came to Imax was with my wife and her cousins. It was also ver pleasant experience. We thoroughly enjoyed the time there. we went to all tge different houses present there. kids were playing crazily during that time. I never knew there were so many things in Prasads till that date. However, my craving to watch a good movie in Prasad remain unsatisfied. Sometimes I could not find a good movie which can be watched in Imax. The first movie that comes to my mind is Lord of the Rings. As an ardent fan of LOTR nothing is better suited to watch in Imax. Recently I wanted to watch Bahubali in Imax but again there are no one to accompany me :( For long I had waited for someone to sponsor a movie in Imax but found nobody :)) Now I wanted to go with my money but still nobody is accompanying me :)) After we are blessed with Sathvik me and my wife didnt go to any movie till now. Part of the reason is the notorious viral spread of Bangalore. I for one will never watch a movie alone. Even when I was in hostel I hardly watched any movie sitting alone. May be I watched Mahabharath and Flopshow alone but not any movie.

My friend seems to have just arrived! 


sarvejana sukhinobhavantu,

-karthik

Thursday, October 22, 2015

అమరావతి...

అమరావతి...
మా ఆశయం, మా ఆరాటం.. అమరావతి!
మా స్వప్నం, మా శౌర్యం.. అమరావతి!
మా లక్ష్యం, మా కష్టం.. అమరావతి!
మా గమనం, మా గమ్యం.. అమరావతి!
మా రుధిరం, మా రౌద్రం.. అమరావతి!
మా సైన్యం, మా సాధనం.. అమరావతి!
మా బ్రతుకు, మా భవిత.. అమరావతి!
మా పొగరు, మా పోరు.. అమరావతి!
మా ఉషస్సు, మా తపస్సు.. అమరావతి!
మా ఊహ, మా ఊపిరి.. అమరావతి!
మా శక్తి, మా స్పూర్తి.. అమరావతి!
మా తేజం, మా త్యాగం.. అమరావతి!
మా సంకల్పం దుర్భేధ్యం.. మా దూకుడు అనితరసాధ్యం.
ఇంద్రుని కొలువు అమరావతి!
ఆంధ్రుల నెలవు అమరావతి!
దేవనగరం అమరావతి!
ఆంధ్ర మకుటం అమరావతి!
ఘన చరిత్ర అమరావతి!
ఆంధ్ర గరిమ అమరావతి!
అమరావతి!
అమరావతి!
అమరావతి!

Wednesday, September 09, 2015

The Power of Silence!!

Jai Guru Deva,

Couple of weeks back I did my advance course in the Ashram. The major attraction of the advance course is the opportunity to stay in silence for few days. This concept of silence sounds very weird to people who are not associated with Art of Living and generally a source of jokes and satire on the spiritual path. For me, silence is perhaps the greatest bliss I ever enjoyed. There is no greater joy, there is no deeper ecstasy and definitely no bigger comfort. My job is project management and I end up participating in a lot of stressful conversations whether I like it or not. Not always these conversations leave me in high spirits. On a personal side also, my life is very very eventful and ensure that I get the true gist of my presence on this planet. So silence helps a lot to cleanse the negative impressions that I get and the negative emotions that I may end up carrying. It has been almost 20 days since I did my course and I didnt get angry even once. (I didnt get angry atleast once between Ugadi of 2010 and Ugadi of 2011 and I really aspire to beat that record.) 

More importantly, silence helps to understand your own thought process. Te hell with the world, atleast YOU should understand yourself. Staying in silence helps to identify the blind spots in our personality. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened to me if I have not habituated sadhana. Yes, I am not doing seva any more and attend satsangs occasionally still my sadhana is more than 95%. I have no regrets for whatever happened in the past and I am not afraid of anything that is going to happen in the future. Staying in silence makes you understand that you dont need anything from the past or future to be happy. You can be happy irrespective any other happening on this planet because that is what you chose to be. Period! 


 When I was doing the course during some of the process and some yoga sessions I had tears in my eyes for taking so much of gap for the course. May be now I have earned to come back to the ashram and stay in silence. After the course is over and I am back to my normal people atleast four people told me that my face as got some glow. That is the glow of being with myself. That is the glow of coming to terms with the hard realities of life. That is the glow of smiling without reason. That is the glow of celebrating life. All of this happen without any effort from me, I just participate in the meditations giving my 100% and Guruji will ensure that I get what I need. There is absolutely no effort from my side. All the bliss flows very naturally and beautifully. Thats why I really wanted to do an advance course atleast once in an year.

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,
-Karthik

Friday, September 04, 2015

I am a blesser!!!

Jai Guru Deva,

I would like to inform everybody that I am a blesser now and I can bless people who are suffering. Anybody who is going through any physical/mental/emotional pain can contact me for blessing and I will bless that person. Any one can ask me to bless through comment section of this post. I need not know any kind of identity regarding the person who is asking the blessing. You can ask blessing for any person in your circle. I will bless that person. I need absolutely no details of that person.

What is "becoming blesser"?
Blessing a beautiful gift Guruji Sri Sri Ravishankar ji had given to the mankind. In reality this was an ancient tradition in Hindu religion which was conveniently forgotten in the course of time. Art of Living have a course called Blessing course where one will undergo certain processes and meditations so as to become a blesser. This does not mean others are not eligible to bless people but this is a way to have some satisfaction as you are contributing something towards the society you live in. Blessing course is an amazing experience where you will win over a lot of negative emotions and cross the barriers like "mine", "yours" "theirs".

Why people should be blessed?
Often we experience certain situations where our mundane intelligence is not enough to solve the problem at hand. At such scenarios none other than divine intervenes to ensure we deal with the situation properly. Blessing is the way one gets the divine support they are looking for. In my life, I had seen people suffer and my mortal capabilities are not enough to support certain people. I feel helpless and guilty in such situations. Now that I am blesser, I bless people whom I cannot support in any other way.

Does Blessing works?
Ofcourse it works. I had personally experienced this several times. But I want to share one particular incident in this regard:
It was in the first week of May 2010, my niece Rishitha had just crossed one month. My sister, my parents and my grand mother had come to Bangalore because of too much heat in Kadapa.(There are two seasons in Kadapa, Summer and Extreme Summer). On the evening of the day they reached Bangalore my sister started screaming with pain at the place of her surgery. Neither my mother, nor my grand mother knew why she is getting the pain.We dont even have the chance to run to any doctor because I dont know of any doctor around. I also moved less than six months ago into that area and have absolutely no circle to talk with. Just before this, I had finished my DSN with Ram Prasad ji and I realized that something called "blessing" is some miraculous problem solving method. Frankly, I didnt give much importance in the first instance because it sounded too impractical. The logical side of my mind didnt agree. Afterall, I am an IITian and that proves that I have a sound logical side :))
However, at that moment my helplessness made me to ask blessing from somebody. I thought of calling Shushmakka to bless my sister but Shushmakka was in TTC and not reachable through mobile. Shushmakka had already become my punching bag with whom I crib, cry and complain about  a million things on this planet earth and about my ownself. Then I went through some of the contacts I had collected in DSN and found that one girl could be a blesser and called her. Luckily she is a blesser and she had talked with my sister for two minutes.. yes only two minutes.. and my sister's pain is GONE. That moment I had understood what Bawa meant when he said "We people in AOL doesnt believe in miracles; we rely on them". Later my sister was fine for two more days until we got an appointment with a proper doctor. Thats the power of blessing!! Till then I had a doubt whether Guruji is God or not.. and should I chose him as my Guru :P but that day I realized that he is God and he had chosen me to be his disciple. Thank you Guruji!!! I know this is very difficult to believe for anyone who is not in the spiritual path. People try to fit everything within the small window of their intellect. Unfortunately, you cannot capture whole of a sea in a small bowl and you cannot convince somebody's intellect in these things which are experiences not maths or physics.

Can we take blessing from anybody else?
ofcourse you can. Just to clarify, when I say "I will bless" its not Karthik; its the eternal almighty present in the whole universe. It is the series of Gurus who had bestowed this planet with their holy presence, it is Guruji Sri Sri Ravishankar ji who is at work. I as an individual is a mere tool, nothing more than that. Whether you take Gangajal from a Copper pot or a mud pot, piousness of the water will not change. Same way, it may be myself or some other xyz you will receive the blessing.

Personally, I take blessing from any blesser(mostly Shushmakka) when I have any critical deliverable at hand or I am going through any rough patch in life.

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,
-Karthik