Wednesday, June 21, 2017


Jai Guru Deva,

Last week I came to know that Sri D. Subbarao sir the teacher who taught me mathematics in school days passed away sometime last year. I used to go to tuition in his house during my 9th and 10th classes. I could go only part of my 10th class as he had stopped teaching in tuition. He is probably the only person I am afraid to face. That was because, of all the people who he taught in our batch, only I failed to get 100/100. I got 96 as I did a silly mistake(took integral sinX as cosX) in second paper. (Simple, silly mistakes are part and parcel of my life and I take it as a continuous action item for my self improvement.) My school life was worse than anyone's imagination. Apart from me, I have not seen anyone who dont want to go to their school days. Barring 2008, no year of my life is as bad as my school days. I used to cry alone in bathroom being helpless and I believed those days are over only for 2008 to prove otherwise. Amidst all those dark days, Subbarao sir teaching maths was something i thoroughly enjoyed. My interest in Trigonometry was purely because of his teaching. (I got 75/75 in intermediate Trigonometry papers, showoff :)) Even today, when I see the shadow of a tree I try to estimate mentally what is the angle of incidence depending on the length of the shadow. That was not me but the efficiency of Subbarao sir's teaching. I dont know how many births i have to take to repay what he taught me and even thanking every day is insufficient for his contribution to me. Rest in peace Sir!!

I got very less marks in 10th class and I feel two reasons contributed to that. One is my grand father who is a hindi pandit had become too weak to teach me and the second being Subbarao sir stopping tuition. My maths teacher in school Sri Satish babu sir passed away in 2006 with cancer. He was also someone whose class I liked the most. His untimely death taught me the lesson about the danger of tobacco to human life. Subbarao sir's demise is the final breaking of me and my school days. Barring my God brother Ashokanna I dont have anyone with whom I can talk about my school. There are people who I dont want and there are people who dont want me. I respect both equally and accept them as they are. With God's grace I never looked back in my life after I completed my 10th class. Life is a great teacher albeit for wrong reasons and my life too had given me my share of lessons. What I learnt in my school is probably one of the toughest to my imagination and have contributed heavily to build my personality. Today as I lead people to do their job, first thing I try is to ensure is that every individual expresses themselves freely and their opinion is considered. Under no circumstances anyone's ideas are ridiculed or rejected without consideration. Because I know the pain of being ridiculed and I know the misery of rejection. Unfortunately I had come across both before I turned 15!!

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Favorite Song - 3

Jai Guru Deva,

Today I'm writing about the song "Nee Prasnalu" from the movie Kotta Bangaru Lokam. It is one of the songs which makes me nostalgic because of the lyrics. There is a very profound philosophy in the lyrics which emphasizes on being self reliant. I am a big admirer of this theory that every individual should be self reliant in certain matters. After all, every body is answerable only to their karma and nothing else. I learnt this concept of self reliance the hard way. There was a time in my life, 2009 to be precise, I had lived all alone without a computer or TV or any room mate. I hardly went to my native during then. Frankly, I had learnt a lot during those three long months. I went to read so many things, understood and realized so many things that made me a far stronger individual to control several things of my life. Incidentally, after this time Shushmakka forced me to join the Art of Living family and life changed for ever. 

Coming back to the song, Seetarama Sastry garu asks a lot of questions about life in the first charanam. 

అలలుండని కడలేదని అడిగేందుకు తెలివుందా 

కలలుండని కనులేవని నిత్యం నిదరోమందా 

గత ముందని గమనించని నడిరేయికి రేపుందా 

గతి తోచని గమనానికి గమ్యం అంటూ ఉందా 

వలపేదో వలవేస్తుంది వయసేమో అటు తోస్తుంది 

గెలుపంటే ఏదో ఇంతవరకు వివరించే ఋజువేముంది 

సుడిలో పడు ప్రతి నావా చెబుతున్నది వినలేదా 

the comparison of aimless journey to teenage was too good and questioning what is the meaning of the word victory is again thought provoking. Several times this is what I wondered, why does it matter what you achieved if you are anyway turning into pot of ash after sometime. (on the other side of the coin Swami Vivekananda asks "If death is so certain, why not die for a good cause") For me, life is all about being in the present. Whatever I am doing I want to do 100%. I may be doing office work or I may be playing with Sathvik I want to do it 100%.  If I'm crying I want to cry 100%, no half measures.

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

I am tired

Jai Guru Deva,

I am tired.

Work, Office, Team, Sathvik, Sowmya, Amma... I am tired. 

Anaytics, Market Share, Pricing, Strategy, Partners... I am tired.

Movies, Malls, Pizza, Outings, Shopping... I am tired.

No Ashram, No Books, No Stories, No blogging.. I am tired.

Yes, Seriously, I am tired.

Need to unwind, relax, reflect and re energize.. Not sure when that will happen but that is what I am looking forward. Need to visit a lot of places but that is happening. We are supposed to go to Srisailam after Sathvik Indrakanti is born but we didnt go in these 2.5 years. Cant say a particular reason but somehow that is not happening. Same way, I want to go to either Srilanka or the North East states of India for few days but it is also not happening. Sometimes leave problems, sometimes health issues (may be to Sathvik) and sometimes money issues. All said and done, my financial discipline non negotiable.

On the other hand, I want to make physical activity like gym or going out with Sathvik as part of my routine but I am not able to do that also. I must confess, I have become lazy! Lazyness is something I hated the most but today I have become lazy :( After my accident in 2013, I am not able to reduce the weight. My weight gone up to 85 after that accident and since then I am not able to come down to 75-78. This is another failure of mine.

This too shall pass!

And yes, I am tired. Seriously tired!

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Friday, February 24, 2017


Jai Guru Deva,

It is almost two months since 2016 ended but I could not write my yearly review. This doesnt mean I'm neglecting my blog. This blog still remains my favourite place to write. However, in the last two months I'm writing a lot in FB page called "ఫేకుడు". This page is maintained by me and my friends.

Back to 2016, another eventful year of my life. The year started with complete failure of my relocating to abroad plans. I failed royally! During the same time, I had decided to move out of the forecasting role and transitioned to my colleague. This is a big change as I was managing forecasting for the last three years. Actually, this decision meant a lot because of the quantum of work I let go from my plate and more importantly due to the quantum of escalation meetings that I had to attend. The job of the forecaster is always thankless. Nobody in the organization remembers a forecaster until and unless there is a problem. Once there is a problem to handle, whole earth will search for the forecaster and blame him for the problem that arose. This is typical forecaster's life.

In the month of April-May, there was a big re-org in HP and I was affected with that. There was no WFR in my team but I didnt had any work for almost a six weeks. This was the time I had enjoyed well with Sathvik as my work load is considerably down. After this "bench" process ended, I had the opportunity to work on the web analytics space and learn some new things. This was very exciting and it continues to excite me even today. Another big change during this time is the strong team bonding and work ethic that was created in our office. I'm fortunate to be part of the team I lead and the team I'm part of. All the people around me are far efficient than my self and thats a rare learning opportunity for any individual. 

On the financial side, I was in a very bad shape (still is :)) and it took quite a while for me to regain my financial health. Even now, I'm not convinced I'm at a place where I should have been. 2013, 2014 and 2015, I had easily crossed all the financial goals I had set for myself. But this year, I found it very tough to meet my goals. This doesnt mean I had increased my goals but my expenses had increased. Particularly, the unplanned expenses had increased significantly. For sometime my mother was not feeling well. My father got eye surgery then due to very bad summer, we had to purchase an air cooler. When I first came to Bangalore in 2007, I strongly believed there will never be a day when Bangalore needs an air cooler. Actually Karnataka assembly dont have a facility to arrange ceiling fans. Nobody dreamt they need fans. With all these things I got a real financial beating.

In the month of July, we had travelled to Kanyakumari for a long weekend. This is Sathvik's first holiday trip. He was very cooperative in the train but not sure what happened, he was very cranky once we reached the hotel. Both me and Sowmya didnt sleep that whole night attending him or placating him. Afterwards, I had fallen sick. My head was breaking and eyes were paining as if they are going to come out. OMG! that was one hell of a night. With all this drama, we are forced to cut short our trip and come back to Bangalore within a couple of days. However, I had thoroughly enjoyed my visit to Vivekananda rock memorial. Felt really happy and blessed to be in the same place as Swami had meditated some 130 years ago.

In the latter part of the year, I had started working completely on Amazon data, scoping new projects and trying to finish the existing ones. This is a very new learning for me as I never had an opportunity to learn these things before. Because of all these developments I feel that I'm probably at the best position in my career with total command on what I'm working. However, HP is not a pay master and year end appraisal was not good. So a trade off between work and money. Right now, I'm valuing work but may decide to change my decision :)

As I enter 2017, I'm praying God to help me meet my financial goals :)

Sarvejana Sukhinibhavantu,

Saturday, January 21, 2017

My most favorite videos of Guruji

Jai Guru Deva,

Wanted to have a ONE PLACE where I can see all my favorite videos of Guruji

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

Favorite Song - 2

Jai Guru Deva,

Today I am going to write about a song which I hear back to back.. there are times when I had heard this song continuously for 4-5 times :)

The song is "ఒకే ఒక జీవితం" from the movie Mr. Nookayya. I am not a fan of anyone who came to industry with their father/grand father/brother as a foundation (power star is the only exception to this rule :)). The hero of this movie is Manchu Manoj from Mohan Babu family. As per the rule mentioned above I didnt bother to check the songs or movie. However, after a long time one of my friend suggested this song to me and the lyrics are just mind blowing. The lyrics writer is Ramajogayya Sastri garu.. Actually, the song was written to a tune made for the tamil film. Just cant believe such a thoughtful message oriented song was written for a tune. The situation is to console the actress (didnt bother to know her name) who is mentally down after she is cheated by someone. The beauty of this song is the subtle way it talks importance of smile and being happy.

ఇది మంచి అని ఇది చెడ్డ అని తూకాలు వెయ్యగలవారెవరూ? అందరికీ చివరాఖరికి తుదితీర్పు ఒక్కడే పైవాడు..

This one line sums up a lot of philosophy :)

By virtue of possessing a logical brain capable of thinking, we judge people, objects, incidents and what not, practically everything. sometimes voluntarily and sometimes involuntarily we keep judging all through our lives. But what we mostly miss is the fact that we are nothing more than a bag full of meat and blood. Great warriors, great poets, great kings, ordinary households, the ultimate fate of all of them is becoming manure to mother earth. I remember when Guruji's father passed away in 2011, Guruji said something very profound: "My Father used to walk like a lion; Today he is just a pot of ash. This is the ultimate reality of our life". I always recall this statement whenever I listen to this song. 

పుట్టుకతో నీ అడుగు ఒంటరిగా మొదలైనది లే, బ్రతుకు అనే మార్గంలో తనతోడెవరూ నడవరు లే, చీకటిలో నిశిరాతిరిలో నీ నీడ కూడ నిన్ను వదులును లే, నీవారూ అను వారెవరూ లేరంటూ నమ్మితే మంచిది లే, చితి వరకూ నీతో నువ్వే, చివరంట నీతో నువ్వే.. 

When I heard this part of the song, I recalled the conversation between Dronacharya and his son Ashwathama. Once Ashwathama tells his father Dronacharya that he could not bare the insults of Duryodhana towards Acharya and Grandsire Bhishma, so wanted to fight the Kuruksehtra war from Pandavas side. He also wants Dronacharya to come along with him into the pandavas side. Then Guru Dronacharya tells him that he can go to pandavas side alone because its an illusion that we think one human being is dependent on other and in reality starting from the birth every human being is on his own and his karma is his own liability. In Kurukshetra, every one can chose their side as well as their destiny. However, Ashwathama says it is unthinkable for him to be on the side opposite to his father. Again, the thing that impressed me so much is the profound philosophy of life imbibed in the song so effortlessly and nicely. just loved it!

లోకాన నమ్మకం లేదసలే, దాని పేరు మోసమై మారెను లే, నిను నువ్వు నమ్ముకో.. 

I think I had written too much about trust in the past and suffered a lot because of that damn concept. so dont want to write anything more about the same :)

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Favorite Songs -1

Jai Guru Deva,

This series of mine is about some of the songs that are in my youtube play list. Wanted to sit back and understand why I like each of them and what each of them mean to me. All these songs are lyric based songs and not the top of the voice screaming.

The song for this blog is "మౌనంగానే ఎదగమని" from "Naa Autograph" movie. 
The song is written by Chandrbose and Music is by M M Keeravani. More I listen this song my admiration for Chandrabose grew bigger. The context of this song is to motivate the hero and his friends not to lose hope and have the perseverance to achieve their goals in life. The song is a encapsulation of all the positive energy in this planet. No wonder a school for Divyangs in Hyderabad has this song as part of their daily prayer. Such a motivation!!

This song contains several analogies for self motivation from the nature, from society, from puranas and what not. Such a great alignment of words for instantly giving a positive view of things immaterial of the situation. In the middle of the song, a Divyang sings a line along with Bhoomika which takes it to a different level. When we had organized Hrudayaspandana program in Jeevani last year, I had an opportunity to closely work with Divyangs and believe me, every move of their is a source of inspiration. They are mostly independent of others only to show the world that miracles can happen every day. Bhoomika ofcourse a nice actress and this song manifests that one more time. She didnt over act and ensured that the sanctity of lyrics is maintained in er facial expressions.

Personally, I value anything that spreads positive energy. Each of our thoughts, positive or negative have a latent energy with them and the more you entertain that thought you have that kind of energy in you. So it becomes imperative to be positive for achieving any success. For people who are going through a rough phase of life it obviously becomes very very challenging to be positive and come out of that phase. All the great personalities of this planet have somehow or the other figured out a way to remain positive and stay focused on what they want.

Just wanted to conclude this post by saying a big thank you to Chandrbose garu. You are legend sir!

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,