Wednesday, April 12, 2017

I am tired

Jai Guru Deva,

I am tired.

Work, Office, Team, Sathvik, Sowmya, Amma... I am tired. 

Anaytics, Market Share, Pricing, Strategy, Partners... I am tired.

Movies, Malls, Pizza, Outings, Shopping... I am tired.

No Ashram, No Books, No Stories, No blogging.. I am tired.

Yes, Seriously, I am tired.

Need to unwind, relax, reflect and re energize.. Not sure when that will happen but that is what I am looking forward. Need to visit a lot of places but that is happening. We are supposed to go to Srisailam after Sathvik Indrakanti is born but we didnt go in these 2.5 years. Cant say a particular reason but somehow that is not happening. Same way, I want to go to either Srilanka or the North East states of India for few days but it is also not happening. Sometimes leave problems, sometimes health issues (may be to Sathvik) and sometimes money issues. All said and done, my financial discipline non negotiable.

On the other hand, I want to make physical activity like gym or going out with Sathvik as part of my routine but I am not able to do that also. I must confess, I have become lazy! Lazyness is something I hated the most but today I have become lazy :( After my accident in 2013, I am not able to reduce the weight. My weight gone up to 85 after that accident and since then I am not able to come down to 75-78. This is another failure of mine.

This too shall pass!

And yes, I am tired. Seriously tired!

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Friday, February 24, 2017


Jai Guru Deva,

It is almost two months since 2016 ended but I could not write my yearly review. This doesnt mean I'm neglecting my blog. This blog still remains my favourite place to write. However, in the last two months I'm writing a lot in FB page called "ఫేకుడు". This page is maintained by me and my friends.

Back to 2016, another eventful year of my life. The year started with complete failure of my relocating to abroad plans. I failed royally! During the same time, I had decided to move out of the forecasting role and transitioned to my colleague. This is a big change as I was managing forecasting for the last three years. Actually, this decision meant a lot because of the quantum of work I let go from my plate and more importantly due to the quantum of escalation meetings that I had to attend. The job of the forecaster is always thankless. Nobody in the organization remembers a forecaster until and unless there is a problem. Once there is a problem to handle, whole earth will search for the forecaster and blame him for the problem that arose. This is typical forecaster's life.

In the month of April-May, there was a big re-org in HP and I was affected with that. There was no WFR in my team but I didnt had any work for almost a six weeks. This was the time I had enjoyed well with Sathvik as my work load is considerably down. After this "bench" process ended, I had the opportunity to work on the web analytics space and learn some new things. This was very exciting and it continues to excite me even today. Another big change during this time is the strong team bonding and work ethic that was created in our office. I'm fortunate to be part of the team I lead and the team I'm part of. All the people around me are far efficient than my self and thats a rare learning opportunity for any individual. 

On the financial side, I was in a very bad shape (still is :)) and it took quite a while for me to regain my financial health. Even now, I'm not convinced I'm at a place where I should have been. 2013, 2014 and 2015, I had easily crossed all the financial goals I had set for myself. But this year, I found it very tough to meet my goals. This doesnt mean I had increased my goals but my expenses had increased. Particularly, the unplanned expenses had increased significantly. For sometime my mother was not feeling well. My father got eye surgery then due to very bad summer, we had to purchase an air cooler. When I first came to Bangalore in 2007, I strongly believed there will never be a day when Bangalore needs an air cooler. Actually Karnataka assembly dont have a facility to arrange ceiling fans. Nobody dreamt they need fans. With all these things I got a real financial beating.

In the month of July, we had travelled to Kanyakumari for a long weekend. This is Sathvik's first holiday trip. He was very cooperative in the train but not sure what happened, he was very cranky once we reached the hotel. Both me and Sowmya didnt sleep that whole night attending him or placating him. Afterwards, I had fallen sick. My head was breaking and eyes were paining as if they are going to come out. OMG! that was one hell of a night. With all this drama, we are forced to cut short our trip and come back to Bangalore within a couple of days. However, I had thoroughly enjoyed my visit to Vivekananda rock memorial. Felt really happy and blessed to be in the same place as Swami had meditated some 130 years ago.

In the latter part of the year, I had started working completely on Amazon data, scoping new projects and trying to finish the existing ones. This is a very new learning for me as I never had an opportunity to learn these things before. Because of all these developments I feel that I'm probably at the best position in my career with total command on what I'm working. However, HP is not a pay master and year end appraisal was not good. So a trade off between work and money. Right now, I'm valuing work but may decide to change my decision :)

As I enter 2017, I'm praying God to help me meet my financial goals :)

Sarvejana Sukhinibhavantu,

Saturday, January 21, 2017

My most favorite videos of Guruji

Jai Guru Deva,

Wanted to have a ONE PLACE where I can see all my favorite videos of Guruji

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

Favorite Song - 2

Jai Guru Deva,

Today I am going to write about a song which I hear back to back.. there are times when I had heard this song continuously for 4-5 times :)

The song is "ఒకే ఒక జీవితం" from the movie Mr. Nookayya. I am not a fan of anyone who came to industry with their father/grand father/brother as a foundation (power star is the only exception to this rule :)). The hero of this movie is Manchu Manoj from Mohan Babu family. As per the rule mentioned above I didnt bother to check the songs or movie. However, after a long time one of my friend suggested this song to me and the lyrics are just mind blowing. The lyrics writer is Ramajogayya Sastri garu.. Actually, the song was written to a tune made for the tamil film. Just cant believe such a thoughtful message oriented song was written for a tune. The situation is to console the actress (didnt bother to know her name) who is mentally down after she is cheated by someone. The beauty of this song is the subtle way it talks importance of smile and being happy.

ఇది మంచి అని ఇది చెడ్డ అని తూకాలు వెయ్యగలవారెవరూ? అందరికీ చివరాఖరికి తుదితీర్పు ఒక్కడే పైవాడు..

This one line sums up a lot of philosophy :)

By virtue of possessing a logical brain capable of thinking, we judge people, objects, incidents and what not, practically everything. sometimes voluntarily and sometimes involuntarily we keep judging all through our lives. But what we mostly miss is the fact that we are nothing more than a bag full of meat and blood. Great warriors, great poets, great kings, ordinary households, the ultimate fate of all of them is becoming manure to mother earth. I remember when Guruji's father passed away in 2011, Guruji said something very profound: "My Father used to walk like a lion; Today he is just a pot of ash. This is the ultimate reality of our life". I always recall this statement whenever I listen to this song. 

పుట్టుకతో నీ అడుగు ఒంటరిగా మొదలైనది లే, బ్రతుకు అనే మార్గంలో తనతోడెవరూ నడవరు లే, చీకటిలో నిశిరాతిరిలో నీ నీడ కూడ నిన్ను వదులును లే, నీవారూ అను వారెవరూ లేరంటూ నమ్మితే మంచిది లే, చితి వరకూ నీతో నువ్వే, చివరంట నీతో నువ్వే.. 

When I heard this part of the song, I recalled the conversation between Dronacharya and his son Ashwathama. Once Ashwathama tells his father Dronacharya that he could not bare the insults of Duryodhana towards Acharya and Grandsire Bhishma, so wanted to fight the Kuruksehtra war from Pandavas side. He also wants Dronacharya to come along with him into the pandavas side. Then Guru Dronacharya tells him that he can go to pandavas side alone because its an illusion that we think one human being is dependent on other and in reality starting from the birth every human being is on his own and his karma is his own liability. In Kurukshetra, every one can chose their side as well as their destiny. However, Ashwathama says it is unthinkable for him to be on the side opposite to his father. Again, the thing that impressed me so much is the profound philosophy of life imbibed in the song so effortlessly and nicely. just loved it!

లోకాన నమ్మకం లేదసలే, దాని పేరు మోసమై మారెను లే, నిను నువ్వు నమ్ముకో.. 

I think I had written too much about trust in the past and suffered a lot because of that damn concept. so dont want to write anything more about the same :)

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Favorite Songs -1

Jai Guru Deva,

This series of mine is about some of the songs that are in my youtube play list. Wanted to sit back and understand why I like each of them and what each of them mean to me. All these songs are lyric based songs and not the top of the voice screaming.

The song for this blog is "మౌనంగానే ఎదగమని" from "Naa Autograph" movie. 
The song is written by Chandrbose and Music is by M M Keeravani. More I listen this song my admiration for Chandrabose grew bigger. The context of this song is to motivate the hero and his friends not to lose hope and have the perseverance to achieve their goals in life. The song is a encapsulation of all the positive energy in this planet. No wonder a school for Divyangs in Hyderabad has this song as part of their daily prayer. Such a motivation!!

This song contains several analogies for self motivation from the nature, from society, from puranas and what not. Such a great alignment of words for instantly giving a positive view of things immaterial of the situation. In the middle of the song, a Divyang sings a line along with Bhoomika which takes it to a different level. When we had organized Hrudayaspandana program in Jeevani last year, I had an opportunity to closely work with Divyangs and believe me, every move of their is a source of inspiration. They are mostly independent of others only to show the world that miracles can happen every day. Bhoomika ofcourse a nice actress and this song manifests that one more time. She didnt over act and ensured that the sanctity of lyrics is maintained in er facial expressions.

Personally, I value anything that spreads positive energy. Each of our thoughts, positive or negative have a latent energy with them and the more you entertain that thought you have that kind of energy in you. So it becomes imperative to be positive for achieving any success. For people who are going through a rough phase of life it obviously becomes very very challenging to be positive and come out of that phase. All the great personalities of this planet have somehow or the other figured out a way to remain positive and stay focused on what they want.

Just wanted to conclude this post by saying a big thank you to Chandrbose garu. You are legend sir!

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Friday, October 21, 2016

Rendezvous with Rahasyam!!!

Jai Guru Deva,


A group called teluguflame had come up with a concept of Telugu subtitles to the popular serial "Rahasyam" which is in Tamil. For me, this is like an old friend visiting my house after few decades. Just cant help but watch the serial again and again. I am already downloading all the episodes with telugu subtitles into my personal hard drive. This will be another of my collection along with B.R.Chopra's Mahabharat, Byomkesh Bakshi and Jaspal Bhatti's Flopshow.

Rahasyam, just a TV program for several others but not for me.It took sometime for me to understand what that damn serial means to me. It was an etv serial in 1996-97 time period and I was a big big fan of that serial. Several days I used to finish my home work and come back from tuition just to ensure I dont miss this serial. I distinctly remember once I had complained to my uncle working in electricity department not to have power cut at 8:30 PM on Wednesday because I have to watch Rahasyam at that time :) Its a practice in our house that we should have dinner at 8:30 PM together everyday. (We maintained that rule till I went to hostel in July 2005) During that time, one of things we were discussing was mostly about this serial. My sisters used to have unusual interest in Hindi movies and songs while I have absolutely no business with any non Telugu things (movies or songs or serials). This serial is a dubbed version from Tamil Sun TVs version of Marmadesam. Sometimes my sisters want to watch anything else in the Hindi channels but I was adamant as ever to out power them and watch Rahasyam. One classic incident about Rahasyam serial was on 21st May 1997 which was a wednesday. It was an India-Pakistan cricket match day and it was Rahasyam serial day. This is probably one of those very rare days when I refused to watch cricket and watch something else :) I watched cricket the days before my annually exams. I never had a heart of rock to forgo cricket whatever may the situation be!! 

The story of Rahasyam is a suspense thriller where weird incidents happens in a small village called "Siddara Patti". They called it "Yateendrapuram" in telugu. Whole story is about several mysterious deaths happening in the village mostly by dog bites and attempts by few people from village to understand the reason behind the murders. After half of the serial, the story moves to Madras currently Chennai and a mysterious truck keep killing people for unknown, unexplained reasons. For a mystery lover like me, this is a nothing short of treat. Its like a vegetarian visiting only veg restaurant. I applied all the logic that I know and tried to find who is the villain. Though I couldnt find the villain exactly it so turned out that I doubted the guy to be a potential villain.

Even in school there used to be a lot of discussion about this serial. It will not be over statement to say that people who belonged to me (atleast I believed so) came into my life through this serial. I had spent several lunch hours debating and discussing who is the villain and what is the reason behind several murders. I have very few sweet memories of my school life and this is definitely one of that. Though same people later on called me "junk" after several years of friendship (thats the best word I can find) I cant ignore their role in building up my character. I am, of course grateful for every second they spent with me and every phone call/sms they made to me. My respect to them remains the same though there cant be any friendship left. 

For now, I am enjoying this nostalgic rendezvous with Rahasyam and reminding myself the sweet little things happened in my life during that time.  I had already sent the link to my sisters and sometime all of us will see the serial together, just like in my childhood. Hope my son, nephews and nieces allow that!

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Learnings from Mahabharth - 8: Virat Yudh

Jai Guru Deva,
This is the contunuation of the series that I had started last year.

Virat Yudh is the fight between Kaurav forces and Arjun who comes out of his secret life. As I had mentioned before Arjun and Grandsire Bhishma are my favourite characters of this great epic. Virat Yudh features these two mighty characters pitted against each other in a ferocious battle. However, what i particularly liked is the display of emotions during that battle. Arjun greets the Grandsire and Dronacharya with his arrows while Grandsire laments a lot as he has to face Arjun in the battlefield after 13 long years of exile and secret life.

Profound knowledge is shared in the conversation during the battle. My learning is that, if you are on the side of dharma nobody can stop you. Grandsire was worried to fight Arjun not because he is inferior to Arjun in warfare but Arjun is standing on the side of dharma. Howmuch ever Karna badmouths Arjun Grandsire would not relent to fight because he knew ethically Arjun have the upperhand and not Duryodhan. For this reason, when Kripacharya asks Duryodhan to apologize for his rude remarks, Grandsire says for how many mistakes shall he apologize?

Personally, I always believed that ethics are way superior to emotions because emotions change with time but not ethics. In my childhood, smoking and drinking are vices and taboo while today they are part of cultured and civilized life. Barring my Art of Living friends, the list of non drinkers and non smokers I met in Bangalore is very less. This doesn't take away the damage done by alcohol to our society nor it reduces the pain of people who are suffering. So the ethics that I was taught still remains the same while popular perception changed in a couple of decades.

On the other end, Arjun in his conversation with Uttara Kumar gives some marvelous insights about human conduct. I feel what he said is applicable even today. One thing that majorly caught my attention was his advice about servants. He requests Uttara Kumar never to insult servants and be decent to them. Also, Arjun asks Uttara Kumar to salute his own wounds and blood flowing. Sich a noble thought!!! Afterall, its our blood that keeps us alive.

Then Arjun goes on to say that because of their 13years of exile and secrecy world understood the danger of gambling and so its worth all the toil they had gone through. This should be a lesson for every human being. Because of my mentor Vijay Kumar sir, I realized the danger of gambling and never gambled in my life. I'm All India 51st ranker in a national level exam and achieved Einstein standards of memory in 2004, yet i never really understood the 52 card game. May be I dont have the divine permission to gamble.

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,