My life is not working, this is what i'm feeling as of now. By next week it will be full two months since i did padma sadhana and it is several months since i attended my weekly followup as well as satsangs. Never thought i will give in to laziness and this kind of stupid life style.. :(( I have already got a belly for people to joke upon and I think my head is turning bald ;) This is not the way i wanted to live and this dont inspire me to move forward like this. Let me quickly jot down what are the things that I stopped doing but wanted to do:
1. Maintaining chitramaalika site
2. Organizing Art of Living (YES+) courses in Electronic city
3. Doing Surya Namaskars and Padma Sadhana every day
4. Attending sunday follow up every week
5. Attending satsang atleast once a week
6. Writing a technical paper about the retail industry in India
7. Reading autobiographies of telugu freedom fighters
8. Finishing dinner by 8PM and sleeping by 10PM atkeast 4 days a week
9. Last but not least, updating this blog every week
Apart from above, working sometime on my entrepreneurial ideas is something i'm really missing.
And now, let me list out what I'm regular at:
1. Doing Kriya almost daily
2. Chanting of the maha mantras
3. Doing meditation (T & C Apply)
It is very easy to say that i'm not doing all these things because I've got a lot of office work, because i had met an accident, because my office is moving out of EC, because my neighbor's dog got mad, because and the list goes on.. But taking refuge in such reasons is not the way i'm built. I own up complete responsibility for what ever I'm doing and whatever I'm not doing. The prime reason I could see for all these things is my laziness and lack of clarity in my thought process. I think time has again come where I sit and think in peace how I have to work to get my life back to the way it was. Of course this is not the first time that I'm in this kind of situation and I'm confident that I can bounce back. If my life has taught me any lesson it is that I can fight back from any dire situation. May be God gives me those situations of which I'm capable to deal with. This is definite take away from the ashes and dust of 2008.
However, the worst part of this whole saga is that I will be in India by 13th July and I already have so much work that till end of July everyday I have one activity to finish.. Of course 24 hours are never sufficient for me but this time I need more hours what I wanted to do to keep myself physically and mentally fit. This is going to be quite a challenge because I have to enroll few others like my wife, my manager into my cause and make them support me. I dont know how far i will succeed but pray my Guru to give me the needed strength. After all, there is no better weapon than surrender!